"Not Like This, Mommy"
by Sally Van Winkle
My son Ronnie died by suicide on November 6,2000. My life has been turned upside down.
My son spoke to me one day. On August 14, 2001 I left work at 9 am and went to a place where Ronnie and I used to go and eat lunch occasionally. I was sitting at a picnic table by the river and I saw an image come into my mind of me walking into the river and drowning myself. Well, first I saw my daughter's face, then my husband's face and then I heard Ronnie say, "Not like this mommy, not this way".
I froze and couldn't believe that I had heard his voice tell me that I wasnt going to die like that. I hurt so bad, I am so empty inside. I miss him so very much and I love him so much. 
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