"L" is for Love
by Janine G.
I went to the store one day to get ginger ale. It was a 12 pack of cans. I started thinking of how Alexa and I used to make ginger ale floats and I was really missing her, and I muttered to myself "Please Lexi just give me a sign you're with me." And then the box ripped and I dropped the cans all over. As I was picking them up I was grappling with whether that was a sign. As I learned in "Childlight" signs don't have to be positive things. So I asked for more signs. When I got home I dropped one can of ginger ale and it rolled down the driveway. It had sprung a leak so it made a line of dots down the driveway and then suddenly curved to the left. When I went to go pick it up and faced the other way, I realized it had made an "L."
This was significant because Alexa and I used to watch Laverne and Shirley reruns and make fun of how Laverne had L on all her clothes. And I gave Alexa a shirt with an L. She said "Mom my name starts with A!" And I said "Well L is for Lexi, and L is for love because I love you!" After that we started leaving L's all over the place for each other to find to say we loved each other. We wrote Ls in the flour, on the mirror with lipstick, etc.
At this point I was about to pass out I was so nervous and excited and scared and everything. So then on the way in the house I fell going up the steps. Then I had to go see my therapist and on the way back I decided to get some ice cream. In the car I managed to dump it all over my jeans and when I looked down the spilled ice cream had also made an L. Right then I said out loud "OK OK Lex I believe it's you! I love you too, so much!" And after that stuff stopped happening.
Then a couple weeks later I had the chance to meet seven other moms who had lost children. We spent a weekend together. I can't begin to describe everything that happened but our children were all there and leaving signs. At one point we were all sitting by a river and looking for rocks and things, and another mom found a smooth rock. She handed it to me thinking I could use it as a worry stone. I turned it over and right there on the rock was an L...just like Lexi and I used to leave each other! It was part of the shape of the rock. And all of the other moms there received signs at some point on the trip as well. I cried and cried...I will keep that little stone forever! 
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